so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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