How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
