but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
