The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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