i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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