no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
