When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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