there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
