i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We are two peas in an std pod
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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