it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You are the jesus of drinking
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
