he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
