Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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