yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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