okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My balls are so social today.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
