butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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