Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
