Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
