Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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