I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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