I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
