I met the friendliest cop last night
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
