Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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