it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
