i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
