I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
