dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
