PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think people are normalizing furries
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
