I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
