He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
