I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I party with great urgency now.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
