You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
