Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
