At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
