Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
