I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
