Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I could fuck to npr.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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