I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
