She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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