Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
