Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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