she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
