i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
