I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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