I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
