can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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