In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
