i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
