You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
