as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
