I just saw a hot homeless man
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
