This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
