so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
