More tranny stories later!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My feet surprised me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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